Another most wonderful endorsement! Thank you Hollye Dexter!

How does one escape the legacy passed down by a damaged, alcoholic father? Fortunately, Michelle O Neil was born with enough spunk and sass to rebel against what was modeled for her. As she comes of age through the chaos of her family's dynamics, she looks for fleeting glimpses of hope, and manages to find God in small, ordinary moments. A charming and engaging read, you’ll be cheering for her every step of the way.

Hollye Dexter

Media Relations, Moms Demand Action (for gun regulation), L.A.

Author, Dancing at the Shame Prom

TheShameProm.com

Endorsements for Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar

Recently I posted on my main website Full-Soul-Ahead! about a shift that is taking place in me. I am feeling more confident about Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar. As a result, I finally mustered up my courage and asked some truly glorious writers if they wouldn't mind reading it if they hadn't read it yet, and endorsing my book if they wound up liking it. I was so terrified to ask.

But they said yes. Every single one I asked said yes.

And what would have happened had they said no? Would it have killed me? No. I would have been a little sad. Perhaps embarrassed for having asked. But it still would have been a brave thing to do. I believe in my book. They would have had their reasons, but it wouldn't mean I did anything wrong by asking.

It is amazing the help that is there if you are brave enough to ask for it. Here are three endorsements. I'll have more coming in soon. I am humbled. Flattered. Grateful. Happy.

"Michelle O'Neil is a true writer, dedicated to sharing her story and experience with others. To read her work is to be inspired.  She is a truly perseverant spirit."  –JENNIFER LAUCK, author of New York Times Bestseller, Blackbird, Still Waters, Show Me the Way and Found.  

"Michelle O'Neil is a grand gorgeous HEARTBREAKING writer. You should go and buy this book, curl up with this book, fall in love with this girl writer and shout her name from the rooftops." -AMY FERRIS, author of Marrying George, Confessions of a Midlife Crises and co-editor of Dancing at the Shame Prom: Sharing the Stories that Kept Us Small.

"Michelle O'Neil has written an honest, brave, funny, heartbreaking, and ultimately triumphant book. You will love her as Janie, a little girl born on the wrong side of the tracks with the right set of gifts that carry her up and away from it all, and into your heart. Forever." -CARRIE WILSON LINK, author of Wil of God: Embracing the Relentless Love of a Special Child.

And a bonus I didn't even ask for from a GeekMom at Wired.com who "devoured Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar overnight." 

I am so moved by these wonderful endorsements. I feel so much appreciation for writers who help other writers. 

Thank you, thank you! 

Amen. 

5 Questions for an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

Author Tanya Savko has started a new "5 Questions for..." series on her blog. It is designed to highlight authors who address topics that affect family relationships. Tanya is a very generous writer friend. It was her encouragement that tipped me over the edge to go forth with publishing Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar. I appreciate her. She is a beautiful person, inside and out. 

I am honored to be the first interview. 

Check it out here.

Drinking With Men

Today, NPR ran a story on a new memoir titled Drinking With Men. I have not read the book, but based on the interview, I left this comment on NPR. 

I am author of my own memoir, Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar. I wonder if Rosie Schaap and others like her ever consider the possibility that the men she shares drinks and camaraderie with might be there at the expense of their marriages and children? If he's being the generous big spender buying the drinks, I wonder if she knows he's just blown his kid's lunch money for the next day, or the electric bill for the month? The subtitle of my book is: For every regular manning a barstool there is likely a family at home. I'm not saying it is Ms. Schaap's responsibility to know or care. I just used to get the willies when I heard someone, mostly drinking buddies, say what a swell guy my father was, when he was abusive and pissing our money and our family down the drain.

This piece seems to romanticize "bar culture." When the guy at the bar is your alcoholic dad, it isn't romantic at all.

I do realize I am seeing this through my own lens, and I can't speak to the experience of all bar regulars.  

How to help an adolescent cope with her parent's addiction

Healing is a cyclic ongoing process. During meditation today, I was surprised to note some feelings of resentment come up for my extended family when I was growing up. A specific uncle came to mind. He was always my favorite. He and his wife tended to avoid our sick family like the plague. And who could blame them?

But we'd see them occasionally, and he was funny, and fun, and I loved him and no...there is no way he could have ever saved me or my sibs from the experience we were having but here's what he could have done, had he known what to do. He could have taken me aside and said this:

"What you are going through right now, with your father's drinking and the poverty and the filth, is not your fault. It isn't okay. It sucks and you shouldn't have to deal with it. You deserve every good thing and it breaks my heart that you are living this way and I wish I could fix it, but I can't." 

He could have gone on to say,

"What you need to know is this isn't you.  You are better than this. You are not going to live like this forever. I see strength in you. I see your good loving heart. You are going to make it. You are going to excel. You are going to fly. I know this about you. I see it." 

It would have taken two minutes to have that conversation. 

Words are powerful things. 

It would have meant the world.

The Highlands, San Antonio, and Hawaii!

So, Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar continues to travel. Above she's hanging out in The Highlands! Thank you Amanda!

Here she is in San Antonio Texas. Melly left a post it note on it, inviting (or imploring) whomever found it to take it home with them and read it. She left it at an educational center, which thrills me. The idea of teachers reading my book, and possibly looking at children differently because of it. Well...I just can't think of anything more gratifying than that. It's the whole point.

And below, Janie made it to a public Library in Hawaii, courtesy of Wanda!

Makes my heart sing. And chuckle, because I would totally be that person who visited the library on a dream vacation to Hawaii.

I pray that whoever happens upon my book will read it and find a way to look at the shame they carry in their own lives, and begin to release it. We're all in this together.

Love.

Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar Goes on Vacation!

It started when my friend Betsy left a copy of Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar in a hotel library in France(above). She loved the idea of someone a world away being compelled to pull it off the shelf and then finding connection with my story.   

And then Melly, she went on vacation to my old stomping grounds, Washington DC. This is what she wrote when she posted the photo on Facebook... "Released this book on the orange line and said a prayer that the person who needs it will find it." How sweet is she? We both thought it kind of cool that "Daughter" wound up in DC, in real life and on Melly's vacation. The orange line was always my favorite. "Next stop, Rosslyn!"

Elizabeth Aquino left a copy at The China Peak Inn, near Yosemite, where she waited to pick up her son from summer camp. The copy she left had a sweet view of The Sierra Nevadas (at least 'til someone finds it).

Carrie Link reports she left a copy in La Pine, Oregon while she was on vacation. 

And I left a copy in the hotel I stayed at last weekend in upstate NY, for my in-laws 50th anniversary. She's overlooking a beautiful golf course. 

There are still a few places Daughter is headed. I'll keep you posted. Is it okay to be jealous that my book is more well traveled than I am? 

Thanks to all who are taking part in her excellent adventure. This is really fun. If you'd like to take Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar on vacation with you, and leave her for someone to find, let me know. I still have a few copies left for this purpose.